Wait and Rest

Wait for the LORD; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:14

Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
Psalm 61:5

It is very comforting to know that the God of the universe has my life in His hands. I trust Him completely that He knew I would be sitting in Lima, Peru at 12:25 a.m. on Monday March 12th unable to sleep. He knows my every thought and worry and He gently says, "Lane, sweet child, give that to me; it is not for you to carry". I do not wish to carry the burdens I have on my heart any longer. As much as I know that "being effective in ministry" is not the goal of my life it is very difficult for a driven person like myself to take so much "sick time". I have long desired to save the world, but it seems that each time I get to the next "big thing" in my life the infamous WAIT sign in put up. Right now I feel like I am wearing the sign on my forehead.

I have been in Lima for over 2 weeks now and as much as I know that this is what my mind, body, and emotions have been in need of...I still very often feel that I am failing someone. I'm not quite sure who I think that I am failing. And when I start trying to figure it out I realize that the most important One already loves me. In fact before opening my Bible this morning I said to myself, "Lane, you are not doing this to earn God's approval, you cannot earn that. He already loves you". I know that what God truly wants is intimacy with me. He wants to talk with me, converse with me, hear my thoughts, my fears, my joys, and then He says, "go ahead give that to me". Why? Now, that I do not understand. He has chosen me. Chosen. How amazingly, wonderful!! Chosen me and now He wants to fellowship with me, spend intimate time with me. I think I understand this better than I ever have in my life. Maybe that is what all this waiting is about...learning about love--how to accept it, how to give it. I praise God that He is giving me a small glimpse here on earth of the infinite love with which He loves me.

I talked to my Aunt tonight and I started trying to say "I don't know what I'm going to do when....." and she gently interrupted me and said, "Lane, just rest". All I could say was "yes ma'am". She is right. God has given me this time. No, I may never understand why, but I can take advantage of every moment to learn more about His love and in turn thank Him for that love.

God, I praise you because you first loved me. You chose me before the foundation of the Earth. You have sent me to Peru. You knew exactly where I would be tonight and You know why you have had me in Lima for so long. I pray that I will learn that this is not about what I'm DOING, but about a RELATIONSHIP with my Creator. My goal is not to please others, but to sit at your feet and to find my joy in that. I pray that my life will bring glory to your name. Until you move me I will rest and wait.

Wait for the LORD; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:14

Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
Psalm 61:5